Grace was soooo excited to start Preschool! She talked about it all summer, asked where it was going to be and what she would learn. She couldn't wait to go with her friends!
She was so excited about her Princess backpack. She looked pretty cute too!
The only problem is she just isn't doing well at preschool. We're doing this preschool with 4 other moms. The first day I picked her up I got the report that she cried.... a lot! Not because she got hurt, but because she didn't get to be the snack helper, or because she didn't get to be first. This crying continued the next week. By the third week when I taught I couldn't believe the way she was behaving! Crying over everything! Crying because she didn't get to the sink first to wash her hands or open the door. Crying because she didn't want to sit next to one of the other kids. Crying because she wanted to be the teacher. Crying because she didn't want to do the art project. Then there was the pushing, which usually was before the crying. This last time at school the teacher said she spent about 45 minutes on the couch crying. She had hit every one of the other kids because she wanted to use their crayons, their apron...ect. You get the idea. The other kids all just take it in stride and do what they're supposed to... but not my child! She is totally emotional and strong willed. Everything has turned into a competition. Everything has to be her way. She is this way at home, but at school it must be amplified because there are so many other people to deal with. Believe me she has spent a LOT of time in her room, but nothing seems to work. I am at a loss and on Tuesday I cried to her. I told her how upset she had made mommy by the way she was acting and I didn't know how to help her. She said she was sorry for making me sad, but still the crying and tantrums continue. Ben and I went to the Temple on Wednesday and I am hoping for some serious inspiration this weekend with General Conference. If any of you out there have any suggestions please share! I feel like a horrible mom and wonder did I do or not do something in the past to create this? I've been trying to reward the positive behavior and use a lot of empathy when she does cry but it hasn't changed anything yet. Help!
4 comments:
Oh Alyson!!! Bless you for posting this!! Sometimes I feel like the only things I read on blogs are how wonderful and perfect everyone else's children are and I sit here thinking, What the heck?? Are my kids the only ones who behave awfully at least 50% of the time??
I wish I had some great advice for you but the only things that came to mind were that I think she'll outgrow it. I know you and you are a great mom, and if you just keep at it, she'll eventually get the picture as she matures. Gavin was a NIGHTMARE as a 2-3 year old. I seriously had mornings where I didn't want to get out of bed to face him! He was out of control! I thought for sure he had ADD and I was failing miserably as a mother and that he'd have problems as he grew up. But then he turned 4 and it just sort of ended, and now at 5 he's the most responsible, dutiful little kid. It's weird, but wonderful!
The other thing I thought immediately was that I think all moms know: kids come with their own personalities. So many times I've thought to myself, Where did I go wrong with Bailey? Other sisters are so loving and proud of their little siblings, but Bailey either ignores Aud or is mean to her most of the time! I've finally kind of realized that I think it's just her personality. I haven't treated Aud differently, and she's the most loving, maternal little girl. Kids are who they are, and I'm sure you are doing all the right things with discipline and she'll get the picture soon. So don't worry, you are a great mom and you haven't 'created' these things. Gracie is her own little person and I really think she'll outgrow it soon, and her strong will and outgoing personality will be such a strength as she gets a little older. Really.
I hope this made you feel better! (although it probably didn't help you much since I have no good advice). Thanks for being real and making me feel I'm not alone as a mom!! :)
First and foremost : YOU ARE NOT A BAD MOM!
Coming from someone with absolutely NO experience in this area....here are my thoughts....You are the person who knows her best. No matter what anyone else says or thinks, she was sent to YOU. So trust your instincts and be patient. It will all work out. Cuz really, have you ever heard of a kid crying every day for their whole school career? Nope. She will move past it. :)
Looks like you've already gotten some great advice. Especially that your a great Mom, because you are. I totally agree with Sylvia, I thought she had great things to say. My only thoughts were make sure the other moms know you don't want her to get away with acting like that, and maybe come up with the same "time out" or punishment for all the moms so there is some consistancy. Consistancy...thats what I got out of conferance :)Good luck! I love you!
I can't believe how grown up she is already starting preschool!!! It doesn't seem like that long ago she was a toddler splashing around at the pool!
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